When I decided to stay home from college this semester and take online classes, I had no idea what I’d really be giving up.
My friends, sure. Living in the dorms and being physically in a classroom, of course. But it was the intangible things that hadn’t crossed my mind until I started to feel their absence about two weeks in.
I missed that feeling of independence and day-to-day purpose. I missed the satisfaction of participating in class and having professors praise my ideas. And yes, I even missed the adrenaline rush of walking into an exam, trying to cram in those last few flashcards before the Scantron hit my desk.
Millions of college students just like me are facing semesters that look drastically different from what we signed up for three years ago.
Those of us who transitioned online had to relearn everything we knew about study habits and communicating with professors we can’t see face-to-face. We are no longer surrounded by our peers who are just as stressed and serious about their studies as we are.
I may be a third-floor-of-the-library, absolutely-no-talking-to-me-until-I-finish-this-chapter kinda gal, but it’s no fun having to do it completely on your own either!
It’s pretty safe to say that COVID-19 rocked everyone’s world this year. I am not the first one to have their plans trampled on and expectations shattered. And my problems seem much smaller compared to the pain and heartache so many people have experienced in the last six months.
I didn’t lose my job. I didn’t lose a family member. I didn’t miss my senior year or graduation. I didn’t have to postpone my wedding. But I did give up part of my college experience, both academically and socially, and I think it’s okay to mourn that along with so many others.
But among all the things I gave up by staying home, I also have to remember all the things I didn’t give up.
I get to spend more time with my parents and grandparents, and I get to be a part of my best friend’s wedding planning. I get coach figure skating at my home club again, and I get to pick up my sewing hobby. And most importantly, I still get to take my classes from Liberty so I can pick right back up whenever I decide to return to campus.
I don’t regret my decision to stay home this semester. I love my school, but I think the on-campus experience I’m missing is not the on-campus experience I would be getting if I was there. I will simply have to be content where I am right now and trust God’s timing.
So, when I decided to stay home from college and take online classes this semester, I had no idea what I’d really be giving up. But I had no idea what I’d really be gaining either.
If 2020 has taught me anything, it's that I am still learning to be still and know that God is in control. And I think that's something to be thankful for.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." -Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
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